


monster blood

by ecomexi



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, honestly just me putting my ramblings in fic form, it's aoi twins so there's inevitably angst, yuuta-centric ;;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecomexi/pseuds/ecomexi
Summary: How could you fight inferiority with superiority? Selfishness with selflessness?





	monster blood

When he was younger, Yuta would feel weary at the sight of blood. Anything ranging from a trivial matter — like a papercut or scraped knee — to something more serious — for example, the instance where he'd fallen while performing a trick, and all he could recall was seeing red in his vision, on his body. Anything in between happened fairly often, and he'd hated it for more reasons than one.

For one, no one ever seemed to care all that much except Hinata. The few lone instances he came crying to his father, he'd be shoo'd, dismissed, shoved away, yelled at — the list went on. And soon, both he and Hinata had adjusted to this cycle, this cruel cycle that soon faded from Yuta's thought process. When Yuta had a hard time fighting back his tears and his palms and knees stung with an otherworldly pain, Hinata would tend to him with a motherly smile. "At times like these," he would say, or at least some variant of it, in a voice that soothed Yuta, "it's the onii-chan's job to take care of his beloved baby brother."

Which brought matters to the next point; Hinata never seemed to bleed. The notion at first amazed Yuta, and he'd see him as perhaps a superhero who could never be defeated, who could never be hurt and could never show weakness. Upon reflection, however, it was frustrating. Even as a child, even when he should be at his most careless, Hinata stuck his landings and screwed up at what seemed like the barest minimum humanly possible. And of course, after it all, he'd plaster on a smile and cheer Yuta's performance which was mediocre in comparison; but, of course, Yuta, being a young and thoughtless child, only grinned and persevered in response to his brother's support.

And of course, the very concept of blood was terrifying for him. Why was blood so terrifyingly red, so bold and electric and daring in scent? Why did it stain your hands when you touched it? Why was it only rivaled and washed away by the ice cold water that made your skin tighten? Why did it taste the way it did, the sharp taste remaining in your memory until long after it touched your tongue? Why was he bleeding as if he were normal if he was abnormal? Weren't the two of them weird? Is it possible for monsters to bleed such a raw, human shade of red, or did another substance entirely secretly flow in their veins?

Surely bleeding is repayment for his sins — no, perhaps it was the luck of the draw cursing him once more into an unfortunate situation. After all, he was the one bleeding, and not his brother — not so much as once. What kind of cruel karma had been watching over them that Yuta could remain mortal but Hinata all but invincible?

 _Ah._ Yuta realized that he was yet again sinking deeper and deeper into introspection, and as always, it led right back to Hinata like a boomerang that inevitably looped back to its origin. He inhaled and he exhaled. He looked down at the ground, where his hands rested. Slowly he blinked, and lifted himself from the ground, ignoring the familiar stinging embedded in the palms of his hands like stings from an insect. Although he hadn't fallen so severely yet on that particular night, it was far from the first time Yuta had clumsily lost his footing and screwed up his choreography. He hated screwing up — he hated putting a halt to practice so Hinata could ask if he was okay. He hated having to start all over again, and he hated knowing it was because  _he_  was inferior; because he was the one being a burden. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut — hoping that he wouldn't have to see that awful red substance on his hands.

It was freezing outside. The winter was threatening its temperatures even in early autumn, and as it was, the cold already bit at his skin, even inside the (cheap and poorly insulated) practice room. Hinata had probably gone home without him — no, Yuta had hidden away until Hinata had surely given up and left. Practice was grueling, but it was the only way to improve. He couldn't tell Hinata of it, or he would tease him and selflessly offer to practice with him, and Yuta would feel worse than before seeing him perfectly perform the dance Yuta had tripped over so many times. How could you fight inferiority with superiority? Selfishness with selflessness? It was impossible for Hinata to understand his feelings; he was so narrow-minded like that.

Even so, he felt guilty for leaving his twin brother completely in the dark, especially when he could hear his phone resting on the windowsill ringing every so often with worried texts. Yuta's resolve would tighten each time, and still he would dance through it — through the guilt buried in his chest and through the tuneful sound of his text tones. Sometimes he'd whisper lyrics, sometimes he'd stare numbly out the window that was fading to black, and sometimes he'd misstep and slip into that pessimistic part of his personality. Would he ever improve? Would he ever surpass? Would he ever stop bleeding?

After some time had passed — there was no real way he could know exactly how much until he checked his smartphone — Yuta felt his head getting lighter, almost as if it had been emptied of all contents. Still, he pushed, because he didn't need anything in his brain to dance, all he had to do was  _move his feet_ , right? But soon enough his feet too felt weightless, and he crumbled to the floor in exhaustion. The cool tile felt nice on his face, and it was so wide, and seemed like such a comfortable place to rest his body upon. Like a dream, like it was tempting him to give up and spend the rest of his life there, pathetically slumped over on the floor practice room.

 _I knew this would happen,_ was the thought that crossed his mind, and yet it wasn't as bad as he had imagined. Within seconds his strength regained, and he lifted his weak body from the ground. Yuta grabbed his phone with shaking hands— shaking  _fingers_ — barely being able to keep from skittishly dropping it. The time read around ten in the evening, glaring like a scolding on his phone screen that was too bright for his weary eyes. There it had five unread messages and two missed calls, all from Hinata — unsurprisingly.

 _[ 4:09pm ] where are you?? wanna get something at the convenience store together ^^?_  
_[ 4:11pm ]  and what do you want to make for dinner tonight~_

_[ missed call 4:20pm ]_

_[ 4:23pm ] wahh did i say something to make yuta-kun mad? are you mad? please answer!!_

_[ missed call 4:23pm ]_

_[ 5:01pm ] i'm going home, please respond soon!!! i'm seriously worried, i'll be waiting at home ;;_  
_[ 6:58pm ] dinner's ready~ yuta-kun~ i'll be waiting_ ☆

Yuta bit his lip, taking a few deep breaths to steady his shaky hands before he responded.

_[ 10:10pm ] I'm not mad. Got caught up with something. I'm on my way home now. Sorry for making you worry, Aniki_

No response. He was probably asleep, since he wasn't one to stay up late all by himself. A few times he'd stay up with Yuta while watching him play a new video game, leaning on his shoulder and offering a few occasional words of commentary or advice. He'd always doze off next to him, and when Yuta noticed, he'd shut off the console and cover his brother up. But without Yuta, Hinata was surely asleep by this hour.

Yuta's eyes narrowed, and he took more deep and soothing breaths. He opened the door up, and outside was a deep indigo ocean of night sky — the streetlights had rinsed it of any constellations, but it was such a rich color that Yuta hardly minded much. Taking care not to make too much noise, for fear that Kunugi or other security might be on patrol, he forced himself not to distract himself with the sky and went on his way from the practice rooms to the gate entrance.

Why had he hoped that someone would run into him? Yuta threw a gaze behind him, as if again wishing that someone by chance would stop and talk to him, if only for a brief moment. It wasn't loneliness, and yet the feeling was lonely. Bitterly, he smiled weakly and began walking that familiar way to his house. Not the route that he took when they were fighting, but the one that they walked together on every bright morning — no, every morning and every afternoon, regardless of rain or sunshine. Because they weren't fighting. Right?

It felt different walking that path without Hinata lovingly squeezing his arm, pointing at each unique thing that crossed them, talking and talking on and on regardless of whether Yuta seemed to be tuned in or not. It was as if there was a presence missing — well, that much was obvious to him. But the sky seemed different, not only because of its blue-black color, but because it was only Yuta staring at it rather than the two of them as one. Maybe that was a stupid thing to think about. Yeah, for sure.

With dismay, Yuta trudged into the Aoi residence's small driveway leading to their tiny excuse of a house, and then quietly towards the front door. He considered knocking, but hesitated, and then decided against it. The ruler of the house couldn't care less if his "children" came home late, but he would definitely care if they woke him up making a ruckus. Yuta knew from experience that that man was a light sleeper, and the consequences for disturbing his sleep were terrifying. He cautiously opened the door, and whispered oh-so-quietly — "I'm home," afraid that the father-like person would hear, but even more afraid that his brother would not. The door opened to darkness, and Yuta flashed the light on his phone across the room.

At first he got the notion that the dining room was empty, until the light dragged carefully over the table. There sat — albeit slumped over, face rested in the crook of his arm  —Hinata, with one arm still stretched out and holding his cell phone tightly in his hand. Yuta jumped and bit back a cowardly yelp. 

"Aniki..." he sighed once he'd caught his breath, and shook in head in disapproval. He sent a nervous glance towards the master bedroom, but soon refocused his gaze on his brother. His expression softened at the sight. "C'mon, let's go to bed," he whispered, trying to lift Hinata's sleeping body from the chair nearest to the front door.

Hinata was heavy to carry, but Yuta imagined he was about the same weight as himself, maybe even a bit lighter. Before he could think too much about it, Hinata's slow, calm, and periodic way of breathing caught — Yuta felt his body start to move, and before Yuta knew it, he was half-awake.

"Yu-Yuta-kun...?" he started the first syllable loud, but sensed Yuta's stern expression and adjusted to lower his voice to a cautious whisper. Yuta marveled that even half-asleep, Hinata could be aware of Yuta's thoughts. "Mnnm... You're back late..."

"Yeah. Sorry," Yuta responded simply as he trudged to their bedroom. He sensed something by his side, and noticed one of the cats padding complacently by his feet, keeping up with them. She meowed softly and Yuta smiled at her, and opened the bedroom door. It was dark, but Yuta knew his way around his own bedroom pretty easily, even without being able to see. He stopped at Hinata's bedside, and lifted him gently into the sheets, as normal and welcoming as ever. 

Hinata, having almost woken up entirely at that point, blinked curiously. "Yuta-kun, what happened to your hands?" he inquired with his voice trying — unsuccessfully — to disguise its worry. "They're all scratched up, did something happen? Did you fight with someone? Do you need your onii-chan to get revenge for you, huh?"

Yuta perplexedly glanced down at his hands; they were indeed scratched up horribly, and a fading, faintly throbbing red. From when he fell and refused to acknowledge the pain in his hands? He dismissed it, brushing his hands on his clothes and hiding them behind his back. He hastily replied, "No, Aniki, don't go off and do something stupid. I just fell, and..." He trailed off his sentence as his glare focused to his brother's hands, and then to his fingers, which had a bandage covering one or two of them. Yuta blinked and a wave of confusion washed over him. "What's that...?" he asked, gesturing to Hinata's pointer and middle fingers. Hinata snuggled into bed nonchalantly.

"From dinner," he murmured.

 _He cut himself making dinner?_  Yuta wondered, thinking that it was strange for Hinata to be so careless in that way.  _Was he really that distracted — because he was_ _worried?_

"Be more careful, Aniki," he scolded gently, and the cat hopped onto Hinata's bed and rubbed its body on him before settling near his torso. "You know I'm not going anywhere, right?"

"You don't hate me?"

"Never."

"Ahaha..." Hinata laughed drowsily, and Yuta doubted he was even awake and conscious anymore. "Don't take my position as onii-chan away from me, Yuta-kun, you thief..."

Yuta bit his lip. "Good night, Aniki."

"Love you..."

Before Yuta could respond, Hinata was asleep. Yuta wondered if he'd remember much in the morning, being the airhead he was. So it was true that Hinata — his invincible twin brother, his superhero — could bleed after all. But it was far away, away from Yuta's sight and covered up crudely by a bandage that could be ripped away easily and all too quickly. Yuta wondered how many times it had slipped by him since his birth; how many times Hinata had hidden the wound successfully.

"Yeah." Yuta felt his chest tighten, and the corners of his lips turn up. "I know."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is @shinmetoriii! join me as i fear for yuuta rank
> 
> i was rewatching the 2wink drama cd and that's really the only explanation i have for this? i tried to mix in a little bit of both a.ngst and soft stuff in so it wasn't too depressing ahaha but alas, it is the aoi twins we're talking about...


End file.
